Newspaper Headlines

How about some humor? Some of these were probably real headlines from some time or another, others might be fake. Doesn't matter, they're hilarious!

1. Include Your Children when Baking Cookies
2. Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
3. Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
4. Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
5. Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
6. Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
7. Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
8. Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
9. Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
10. British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
11. Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms
12. Eye Drops Off Shelf
13. Teachers Strike Idle Kids
14. Clinton Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead
15. Enraged Cow Injures Farmer With Ax
16. Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
17. Miners Refuse to Work after Death
18. Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
19. Stolen Painting Found by Tree
20. Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years in Checkout Counter
21. Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Times in 10 Years
22. Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One
23. War Dims Hope for Peace
24. If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
25. Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
26. Deer Kill 17,000
27. Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
28. Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
29. Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
30. Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
31. New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
32. Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
33. Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
34. Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy
35. Arson Suspect Held in Massachusetts Fire
36. Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood
37. Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
38. New Vaccine May Contain Rabies
39. Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

Lol. Where'd you find these?

lol im soooo going to spread that around schoolX3

niquae wrote:Lol. Where'd you find these?

They've been going around for years. I happened to stumble on to them while looking for something else at Snopes urban legends site - http://www.snopes.com/humor/nonsense/head97.asp

Very funny!

Those are just too funny!! My favorite is "Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead " I am still laughing after 10 min since i read it XD

They are so cool. A good laugh after just waking up is perfect medicine for starting the day thanks

If you liked those, you should read this article on the subject of goofy headlines.

http://bit.ly/3ngYZ2

Not only does it have some interesting commentary, but it's peppered with more examples of hilarious headlines, like "Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim" (actually part of a book title on the topic).

lol, these are so funny.

Ha ha ha!

Punny, punny, punny!

haha!!!

Asynjur wrote:but it's peppered with more examples of hilarious headlines, like "Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim" (actually part of a book title on the topic).

ROFL. Do people think about how their titles could be taken before coming up with them?

So funny!!

Daeninn wrote: Those are just too funny!! My favorite is "Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead " I am still laughing after 10 min since i read it XD

Lol! I love that one too! Hilarious!